"but sooner or later, Nana, people have to grow up..."

Peter Pan was one of my favorite Disney movies for a really long time.  I'm not sure if it was the story and the music, or if it was the thought of going to a place where I'd never have to grow up that I enjoyed more- but nonetheless it is still a movie I have no problem watching again and again.

One of the reasons I decided to go to a community college came to me when I was sitting in my mom's classroom working on layout during an independent study class.  I was working away and thinking about where I wanted to go to college, and all that when along with it.  I suddenly stopped, looked up at my mother- and said "You know mom, I don't think I'm ready to buy my own toilet paper."  And as strange as it was- that revelation told me more about myself and the fact that I wasn't quite ready to grow up that much yet.  So, I lived at home another 2 years, before venturing further than I ever thought I would into a world I'd never known.

Almost 4 years later- I'm now 22, engaged, and getting ready to move out of my very first apartment that I lived in on my own- to move in with my future-in-laws between now and when Andy and I get married.  For the longest time, and especially right when I got my apartment, I was so excited to have a place of my own that I didn't have to share with anyone.  There have been a lot of momentous things that has happened at that apartment, other than being my first place of "freedom."  It was where I survived the hardest semester of my college career- working 2 jobs, an internship, and taking 19 credit hours.  It's where I learned that people aren't always what they seem no matter what they try to tell you.  And it's where I truly learned how to trust God and give it all to Him.

Over the last 12 months, I've seen my apartment transform into an escape from the insanity to a place that no longer feels like home.  The place I used to yearn to get back to, so I could run from everything I wasn't, is now the place where I don't feel like I'm home at all.  And I guess that shows the changes in me too.  I'm not the same girl I was a year ago, and thankfully, I don't think I ever will be.  Because sooner or later- people do have to grow up.