Sinking

Sometimes I think that God uses my ADD brain to teach me more than I give Him credit for.

While sitting in church on Sunday listening to Dr. Green speak, and to be quite honest, keep myself from being distracted by the fact that he no longer looks like a smurf onscreen (I should explain: since our sanctuary is under construction, they moved "big church" to our recreational center/gym- and since there's no professional lighting in there to balance the color- when played on the big screen in our contemporary service, he's had a little bit of a blue tint.  I'm not even sure he was aware of it.  A couple weeks ago he actually made a reference to the smurfs in a sermon.... it was a miracle I was able to stifle my laughter... but I digress).  Now since Dr. Green is played on projector, sometimes my attention does tend to wonder.  This is why it's good for me to take notes in church, not only to learn, but to keep me focused (although sometimes it doesn't help a whole lot, and I end up with doodles in my notes... a habit I inherited from my mother I suspect as she does the same thing).

Somewhere between Mark 1:14 and my inability to keep a steady focus on Dr. Green's sermon rather than his pigmentation (lots of stuff about fishing, fisherman, fishing headquarters and a bass assassin- I'm sure it made a lot more sense to those who aren't ADD such as myself), he wound up telling the story of Jesus walking on the water and Peter jumping out of the boat to him, and walking on water as well.  And on a stray thought- my hand began to write what God wanted me to get out of the sermon today.

I've always enjoyed this story- and the Holy Spirit really used to my benefit that day.  When Peter realized it was Jesus, he called out to Him saying "Lord- if it's You, command me to come to You."  Jesus did, and Peter hopped out and started towards Jesus.  Now this is one of my favorite things about Peter- his loyalty and his enthusiam.  The second he knew that it was his Savior out there on the water, he was rearin' to go to Him: no holding back, no "Jesus if it's You- tell me if it's safe enough and I'll come to You" or "Jesus if it's really You, hang tight and the boat will be there in just a second," none of that.  Just on fire love, loyalty, and faithfulness to his Jesus that he had to be near Him.  Isn't this how it is for all of us when we first experience the saving grace of God?  So full of dedication and fire that we will blaze boldly wherever the Holy Spirit leads, even through the crashing waves of negativity or hardships of this life, we go forth with passion- keeping our focus on Christ. Nothing can stop us from that desire to be near to God.

Now it doesn't say in the Bible how far Peter got, but it says when he saw the wind he was afraid and began to sink.  Anytime I envision this story- I see the wind blowing water in front of Peter's face (because let's face it, who likes to be splashed in the face with water unexpectedly and you really can't see wind, but rather see its effects on other things), and it caught Peter off-guard, and he started to see all the craziness around him.  Crashing waves, the fact that he was walking on top of the water which was "impossible" and Peter took his eyes off of Christ, and that's when he began to freak out and sink.  This is when the Holy Spirit led me to this stirring question:

How often are you like Peter?  Your loyalty and faith seems so real until something catches you off guard that you're blown off course.  This forced me to think about a lot of things that I really didn't care to think about- and think "You know what Lord- I didn't want to hear that, but I really needed it, because I haven't been as faithful to You as I should have been recently- especially with what lies ahead." Because I drown a lot.  I drown in the stress of planning a wedding, in the uncertainty of the future, in people's lack of faith in me, in the large shoes I have to fill as a soon to be pastor's wife, as well as a myriad of other things (I could probably write a blog just on what I worry about- but I won't bore you with that).  And there are times when I let it consume me, because I'm human and I worry- and it's worse because I'm a woman.  But there's no righteous justification for it because that's not what God wants for me! He wants to see me say, "Lord- only You can help me through this, and I'm giving it to You to guide me."  (You know that song "All the Way My Savior Leads Me?"  Yeah- it's true, He actually does it if you let Him!!)

So many times, we start to look around and think of how overwhelming our current situations are or how stressed we are and there's no possible way to manage it, but the reality of the matter is that none of that is a word of Truth.  The Bible says so many times we aren't to worry about the things of this world!  When we allow the troubles and cares of this world to drown us, we allow ourselves to sink down so far into our worry and our little pity parties that we forget that Christ gives us the freedom from trying to solve the problems we have on our own, which then inhibits our ability to serve Him.  Are there still going to be hard times?  Sure- but those are the times when God wants us to draw nearer to Him.

My prayer for you is that if you are sinking in the troubles of this world to give it to God and allow Him to take on your burdens.  You can do so much for Christ if you will clear your mind and say- "God, I'm all Yours!!  Let my passion for You burn in me more than a ghost chili pepper!"  Just remember that the answers are not found by drowning in your current surroundings!  The answer is found by keeping your eyes on Christ.

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you."     -Psalm 55:22 (ESV)